I know that I won’t be who I am today for very long. I know that I’m always changing, growing, making new decisions, forming new opinions, and learning new things. This process is the biggest part of my life right now, and I hope that it will continue for the rest of my life, but it’s not without its drawbacks.
Change is scary. It’s terrifying. I’m not thoroughly happy with who I am now, but generally I think I know what that is, which is reassuring. I usually don’t like the idea that I don’t know who I’m becoming, because it could go many ways, and I’m not the most optimistic person about myself, so I often think of the miserable mess I could be, instead of the confident, happy, alternative.
But, Future Me, I need to remember that you are not me. I can freely be optimistic about you, because you’re someone I don’t know yet. You will be the tangible representation of my life, and my choices, but there will be so many things about you that I can’t anticipate or understand.
I am so eager to take care of other people, and give things up for other people, and please other people, and you should be no different. I’m so sorry I’ve neglected you.
So, I dedicate myself to you, Future Me. I dedicate my todays, tomorrows, and all the days-after-thats.
I’ve realized recently that most of all, I want to be someone you will be proud of, and will remember with love. Someone who has thought of you generously, and given you the opportunity to be the person I dream of.
This doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy my life, because I know you wouldn’t want that (after all, you need lovely memories as much as I need to experience loveliness). It just means that I’ll try to keep you in mind, and remember that you will be affected by everything I do just as much as I am affected by it now.
I am so excited to know you. Let’s make 2012 a killer of a year!
Lots of love,